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The Amazing Secret Of Your MIND


 I'm going to tell you a story about words. So, I had a client who'd been sectioned in a mental 

Hospital. for a while, she had a breakdown, she'd had a very difficult childhood. And then she 

came to see me, and she just had to go as an outpatient to this group once a week, and she 

was telling me, I said, "Well what do you do there?" She said, "Well, we just have to sit in a 

circle and talk, "and we have to start by saying something nice, "so I usually say, "'Oh, I saw 

daffodils on the way here today,' "or 'I petted a dog,' "or 'my cat sat on my lap before I left

"'and now I feel happy.'"

I'm like, "Well, that's kinda nice, "but I want you to do better than that, "I want you to, every time 

you have to say something nice, "I want you to go, 'I have phenomenal coping skills,' "'cause it's 

all about coping, "you've been in a mental hospital, that's okay, "and now you're coping, "so I 

want you to forget about daffodils, "and butterflies, and puppies, and kittens, "lovely as they are, 

and I want you to say, "'I have phenomenal coping skills' "every week in that group, "'cause if 

you keep saying it, it becomes true."

'Cause of course, when someone is sectioned, they have no coping skills, they're like, "I can't 

cope with traffic, and I can't cope," and she said that when she was little her mother's words 

were, "I can't cope." Her mother couldn't cope with her opening a packet of potato chips, the 

rustling would drive her crazy, the mother couldn't cope with sound, or light, or noise, and she 

brought up this poor little girl to believe that, "Oh, I can't cope. "Oh, that noise is going to drive 

me crazy. "That light's going to give me a headache. "That smell's going to give me a migraine," 

and the mother had no coping skills, and of course, this poor little girl grew up believing that life 

was not something to be coped with at all, and her mother never went to a store or a 

supermarket, because she couldn't cope, she never went shopping in a department store 

because she couldn't cope. She very rarely went out, 'cause she couldn't cope with traffic,

she couldn't cope with the heat, and she couldn't cope with the cold. No wonder this poor girl's been in 

a mental home. I'm going to change that for her.

So I made her say it all the time, "I have phenomenal coping skills." And sometimes she'd say, 

"I have extraordinary coping skills," or, "I have outstanding coping skills," "I have exceptional 

coping skills." After a few weeks, one of the nurses said, "D'you know, would you mind "if some 

of the other patients said that too? "'Cause they really like it when you say that, "it changes the 

energy in the room." She went, "Well, I don't own it, of course, I don't mind." So other patients 

began to say, "I have incredible coping skills," and then the hospital decided that they would 

write it on the walls, so they made posters and they stuck it around the walls in this on particular 

ward, and then they noticed that they had the fastest turnaround rate

with their clients.

That these people who felt they couldn't cope, and couldn't cope with anything, just saying that, 

you see, what were they saying? Let's break it down again, they were telling the mind 

something specific, "I have phenomenal coping skills, "bring it on, I can cope." That's what they 

we're saying to the mind, that was the dialogue and the collaboration with the mind, "I have 

incredible coping skills, "whatever you throw at me, it's good, and I will cope, "because I have 

phenomenal coping skills." What were the pictures in the words in their head? Well a picture of 

somebody coping with anything incredibly well, phenomenally well that was the 

picture, that was the words, and what was familiar?

"I can cope. "Bad traffic, difficult person, "irritable parent, or kid, or bad day, it's okay, "'cause I 

have extraordinary coping skills." And what became unfamiliar? "Unable to cope." That just all 

stopped. And so, that hospital, to this day, still uses that, they still get people to say that, they 

still use those posters, and the girl who was in a mental hospital is now, weirdly enough, or not, 

she's a mental health nurse, and she helps people cope because that's an example, so I want 

you to think of a word you could use. "I've got a wonderful personality, "I've got a fantastic 

memory, "Everything comes to me.

"I'm great at time management, "I get things done." It doesn't matter what it is, but I want 

you to think of some words you can say. "I look after my body extraordinarily well." You see I 

don't use wishy-washy words, "I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm not bad, I'm quite good." I like, 

"Phenomenal, extraordinary, outstanding, "incredible, powerful."I have a phenomenal memory, 

"I have incredible coping skills, "I'm an outstanding parent, "I'm an amazing, phenomenal, 

extraordinary friend, "and my friends are amazing and phenomenal, "and extraordinary," 'cause 

I know that those words excite my mind, and they're so descriptive that the mind knows what I'm 

saying. If I say, "Oh my God, what a nightmare last weekend was, "it was hell, it was a disaster,"

I'm probably talking about some party I went to that was boring, but I've elevated it so much by 

using those words. And then if I say, "But you know, the next day I went to lunch "and that was 

quite nice," I've made something good minimal and made something bad, I've elevated it,

so here's a handy hint for you. When something isn't great, like a challenge, or you go to a film 

and it's not good, just go, "Yeah, it was a little disappointing, "wasn't quite what I expected,"

go, "Oh my God, it was awful, "I was bored out of my mind, "I wasted three hours, "it was hell sitting 

through that play.

"I felt I was going to die of boredom," just go, "Yeah, it wasn't a good use of my time, "but it's 

only  three hours, it was fine." So you got to learn to minimize the negative and accentuate the 

positive, so when something is good you can go, "Oh, it was amazing, it was incredible,

"I was phenomenal." You can even use swear words. I'm going to say frisking, "That was 

frisking  amazing, "That was frisking fun, "That was freaking awesome," 'cause even the words 

you put  in front of words, so people go, "Oh, I've got this headache, "it's killing me, I'm dying of 

pain, "oh  I've got this excruciating stomach ache, I'm in agony," none of that is true. "I have a 

headache,  it's a little annoying, but it'll go. "I've got this niggle pain, but I can deal with it, 

"because I've got  stuff to do." You see how we get to choose, again and again, we have a 

choice, you can go, "I'm in agony, my head is killing me," which is not true, or you can go, "I got 

a headache, it's slightly annoying, "but I'm going to take some pain meds, "and in 20 minutes I'll 

be fine, "or maybe I need to drink some water, "I'm just going to take some time, "'cause I do 

have  a headache," but don't call it an agonizing, crippling, killing headache, don't say, "Oh my 

stomach, I'm dying of pain, "I'm dying with the flu, "this cold is killing me."Don't do that, minimize 

that stuff, "it's slight, it's mild, it's niggling, "it's mildly discomforting," and then, when something 

is good, then you use words, "This is incredible, this is amazing, "this is phenomenal, this is 

outstanding," then you use the good words and you can use swear words, you can put words in, 

"This is completely amazing, this is utterly at, "and this is awesome," you get the picture, 

don't you? Good words, in front of a good thing, make it better, and minimal words in front of a 

bad thing minimize it, but don't say, "Oh my God, this headache, it's the headache from hell,

"This is the client from hell, "this is a nightmare," don't do that, you have a choice, remember you 

have a brilliant brain, here's your choice, rationalize why it's all going wrong, talk yourself out of 

it, that's all you have to do.

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